When Breathing and Calming Exercises Don't Work: Try 5-5-5
“Just take a deep breath.”
It sounds simple enough.
But if you've ever felt overwhelmed, anxious, angry, distressed or completely overloaded, you may have discovered that breathing exercises don't always make you feel better.
Sometimes, being told to “calm down and breathe” can actually feel frustrating.
You might find yourself thinking:
“I'm trying to breathe! It's not working!”
Or perhaps sitting still and focusing on your breathing gives your mind even more space to race.
The problem may not be that breathing and calming exercises don't work. It may simply be that they aren't the right first step for you in that particular moment.
This is where 5-5-5 can help.
What is 5-5-5?
Instead of trying to go directly from highly activated to completely calm, 5-5-5 gives your body and brain something to do first.
5 minutes of body movement
5 minutes of brain focus
5 minutes of calm
The idea is simple:
Move → Focus → Calm
Rather than expecting your nervous system to suddenly switch off, you give yourself a gradual pathway towards regulation.
Step 1: 5 Minutes of Body Movement
When we're stressed or emotionally activated, our bodies can become mobilised.
Our heart rate may increase, our muscles can tense, and we may feel restless, agitated or like we need to do something.
Trying to sit perfectly still and immediately become calm isn't always easy when your body is saying:
“MOVE!”
So, start there.
Spend five minutes doing some gentle movement.
You could try:
Walking around the block
Stretching
Gentle yoga
Shaking out your arms and legs
Dancing to one or two songs
Walking up and down the hallway
Doing some comfortable squats or movements
Gardening
Playing with the dog
Simply moving your body in whatever way feels safe and accessible
This isn't about exercising hard.
It's about changing your physical state and giving your body somewhere to direct that activated energy.
Step 2: 5 Minutes of Brain Focus
Once you've moved your body, give your mind something specific to focus on.
This could be something simple and grounding, such as:
Naming five things you can see
Completing a simple puzzle
Colouring or drawing
Tidying a small space
Doing a simple task that requires concentration
Listening carefully to a piece of music
Counting or sorting objects
Writing down what is currently worrying you
The goal isn't to ignore your feelings.
It's to give your brain a manageable task to focus on, helping you create some space between the intensity of the moment and your response.
Step 3: 5 Minutes of Calm
Now that you've moved and focused your attention, you may find that calming strategies feel more accessible.
This could be the time to try:
Slow breathing
Sitting somewhere comfortable
Listening to calming music
Having a warm drink
Progressive muscle relaxation
Mindfulness
Closing your eyes and noticing your surroundings
Spending a few quiet minutes somewhere you feel safe
You don't have to force yourself to become completely calm.
Instead, think about moving one step closer to feeling more settled.
Remember: Regulation Isn't One-Size-Fits-All
What works for one person may not work for another, and what helps you one day may not be what you need the next.
If breathing exercises haven't worked for you in moments of high distress, it doesn't mean you've failed.
Sometimes, you may simply need to move before you can calm.
Try:
5 minutes Move → 5 minutes Focus → 5 minutes Calm.
And see what changes.
What's Happening This Month?
💜 Women's Empowerment Group
💜 Women's Empowerment Group
Our Women's Empowerment Group is held on the first Wednesday of each month at 5:30pm at The Buzz, Yarrabilba.
💰 Cost: $5.00
This group provides an opportunity for women to connect, share experiences and build confidence in a supportive environment.
If you've been looking for a welcoming space to connect with others and focus on your own wellbeing, you're invited to join us.
📍 The Buzz, Yarrabilba
🗓 First Wednesday of every month
⏰ 5:30pm
💰 $5.00
Perinatal Relationship Education Group
Are you a couple interested in learning more about relationships during the perinatal period?
We are inviting couples who may be interested in attending a Perinatal Relationship Education Group via video link.
If you would like to express your interest, please email us with your Expression of Interest (EOI).
We can then add you to our waitlist and provide further information as the group develops.
Interested? Send us an email to submit your EOI and join the waitlist.
Now Accepting Clients Through Victim Services NSW
We are also pleased to share that we are now accepting clients through Victim Services NSW.
If you are accessing support through Victim Services NSW and would like to enquire about our services, please get in touch with us to discuss your options.
You're Not Expected to Figure It All Out Alone
Whether you're navigating relationship changes, parenthood, emotional overwhelm, personal challenges or simply looking for greater connection and support, reaching out can be an important first step.
Sometimes support starts with something as simple as moving, focusing and finding a little calm.
If you'd like more information about our groups or services, please get in touch.